If I only had a Brain

" Increasing absentmindedness"

This symptom is listed in "What to Expect", AKA the Pregnancy Bible, under the 8th Month. For fun, let's make a list of recent mishaps.

1. I left my church notebook, which is really heavy and stuffed full, on top of my car. I proceeded to turn onto a HIGHWAY to go home. I noticed out of the corner of my eye some white papers flying behind my car but it didn't hit me that they were mine. Then 2 cars started honking at me and I pulled over into the turn lane. I just sat there confused. Finally I realized the notebook was up there. It's a Christmas miracle! The notebook stayed up there and I only lost a few papers!

2. I have left my wallet in a Fry's grocery cart no less than 3 times since I've been pregnant. Two of the times some honest employee found it and I got it back with nothing missing. The third time was last week when an LDS girl recognized my picture, called my friend Rita to get my number and then called me. She said she found my temple recommend in there and knew I really would want to get that back. She dropped it off for me at Westwood. I'm tellin' ya, I must have guardian angels.

3. At school I looked for a stack of papers for about 10 minutes in the middle of class. Then I found them in my right hand.

4. This is nothing new. I accidently left our dogs locked in their cage when I left for work. They became emotionally distressed and pooped all over the place. Luckily Cameron happened to come home for lunch that day and he rescued them and cleaned up the mess.

5. I left a white elephant gift on top of my car and drove through my parents' neighborhood. I heard a 'clunk clunk' and realized it this time. It had flown off the car onto the road. It was a painted wooden coat rack. I think the wrapping paper saved it. Not a scratch.

Are we sensing a pattern here??? Maybe the top of the car isn't such a safe place.


Let's be honest, it's a miracle I've gotten through this semester without seriously screwing up a bunch of kids' futures. I have kept track of their grades. If I've lost something I've blamed it on my student aides (not you, Haley). Sometimes it was their fault and sometimes it wasn't but I wouldn't know that until later. It's just better to blame them to keep the students off your back. I'm horrible. But I made it. I taught a semester of economics knowing nearly nothing about it beforehand. Poor children.

Now there's one week left. I purposely scheduled class parties on different days so I could eat more. Hooray for overeating season!

Hey, you guys should post an "absentminded" story on here if you have one. It might help me feel normal.