Bizarre Stories Log, Summer '09

I had a couple of funny moments on my trip to Kansas. We just got back from riding with my family for 22 hours there and back.

Some highlights:

1. I was blow drying my hair and I had a sink full of water with a poopy outfit soaking in front of me. You know, they tell you to never blow dry near water. Well, all of a sudden the blow dryer falls into the water. Being the genius that I am, instead of unplugging it real quick, I pulled the dryer right back out of the water.

I could've died!!

2. This story actually happened right before Kansas. Cameron and I had taken 2 cars to church because I had to get a calling before church. So after church, I had the baby and I was looking for him so we could ride home together, forgetting he had his own car. I waited and waited in the foyer. No Cameron. This friend of ours started looking for him. He looked in every room of the church and couldn’t find him so he started to get worried. I didn’t have a watch so I didn’t realize forty minutes had gone by as I was just sitting there waiting and chitchatting.

Soon, half the bishopric starts looking for him too. All of a sudden, a lightbulb went on! Oh! We brought two cars! He went home. Let’s just say I was beyond embarrassed.

3. Finally, the Finale!!

In Kansas we went to see the movie "Up" with the whole family. We were already in the theatre and my older sister Tracie was in a huge rush to meet us in there. She had driven like a mad woman to pick up her 5 year old Spencer from summer camp. She jumped out of the car with him and starting walking into the theater, then realized she didn't have her car keys. So she thought, Oh well, I'll just have someone drive me home afterwards to get the spare keys.

She comes out of the movie and walks to her car and notices IT"S RUNNING! She had left her car running for the entire 2 1/2 hour movie ! We were dying laughing. And no one stole her car. Only in Kansas!!!
She honored me so much when she told me that she has now topped anything ditzy I've ever done. This one takes the cake, and probably will forever.

The face can say alot . . . especially the mouth part of the face

"Gee mom, I am so thrilled to be riding in this car for 4 hours straight. But I can't feel my butt anymore. Do you think you could take me out of here? I'll smile a good one for ya! Pleeease!" (After a 24 hour trip to Greer, AZ Lacey was eager to exit her car seat)

"This saucer tastes like fabric. It's better than my gripe water. Delish!! Too bad I'm too short to reach any of the toys around me."

"Ya know, I feel rather relaxed at the moment. But that will last approximately 5 minutes so enjoy it now. And why do you keep pointing that shiny silver thing at me?? It's blinding!"

"My stroller is very stimulating to the eye. The black, the white, the silver! I want my next vehicle to be a Volkswagon Jetta. Thanks, daddy."

" Oooooooooooh yeah. I'm lookin good. Look at me and my bad self! My head-holdy-uppy-self."

"You know, that flash takes my adorable smile away, mom. You can keep trying and trying, but it ain't gonna happen. You big weirdo!"

"Why must you take pictures of me every time I get a new outfit on? There's no room on your computer for all these pics. I know your computer is nearly crashed again."

" Dad found the secret! Strip me down and you'll get the grin. Jackpot!"

"My gums hurt so I'm drooling. And no, I'm not storing nuts in those cheeks for the winter. Elvis is aliiiiiiiiiiiiiive!" "You people are wacko! Where's my lunch?"

Crafts and decor for sale

Hey everybody! I've just been cleaning out my craft inventory and have listed some of the remaining items from last year on this blog. I have included pictures of each item on the sidebar. Many of these are close replicas of items that sell in the "Country Sampler" magazine. My prices are considerably lower though. You can buy these same crafts on my website's online store at the following link http://gahomedesign.org/crafts.aspx . I can't offer the discounts through my website, but I can over the phone. If you would like any of these or want me to make you a custom product, please give us a call at (480) 969-5229. I do negotiate prices and take best offers. In addition, if you need help arranging your furniture and decor so that is is optimally functional as well as aesthetic, give me a call. I'm currently running a consulting special for only $20.00. This service will give you feedback and suggestions from a decorator/designers perspective. We'll discuss various furniture layouts, color schemes, suggested purchases & upgrades, etc. . You can also visit my website, http://www.gentryaesthetics.com/. Just call us for more details if you are interested. Thanks!

Any jobs out there?

Sorry for any of you who already got this message on facebook. I'm just putting it here because you never know how you might be able to network.

Hi! Cameron works for the school district and because of budget cuts, he will not have work this summer. He is looking for a summer job or is even willing to get a new job altogether. He's starting school but will probably start doing classes online. If anyone knows of anything, please let me know! ( his skills are in carpentry, interior design, CDL driving trucks or busses, computer stuff, or we're just looking for different entry level things) Thanks so much!!!

Idol Woship 2009 Style

These are my favorite Idols. Who will be in the finals?

Housewives of New York and Mesa

I have a guilty pleasure. I LOVE to watch the show "Real Housewives of New York City." What s it about rich people's lives that makes us glue ourselves to the t.v.? Is it their snobbish obsession with designer labels? Is it their constant bickering? Perhaps we aspire to live in high rise apartments on the upper east side.

Whatever it is, my sister Tracie got me pondering on just how different the Housewives of New York are from the Housewives of Mesa/Gilbert/AJ. Here are a few differences:

Housewives of New York marry metrosexual Australians. They buy "fixer-upper" million dolllar condos in Brooklyn. They attend fashion shows and play tennis. Most admirably, they begin writing books on "How to raise children", even though they may lie about their children being able to speak French.

Housewives of Mesa pore over the pages of "What to Expect the First Year", looking for any gems of wisdom to help them navigate through the ever-changing colors of poop and the pros and cons of using a binky.

Housewives of New York sell non-fat whole-grain calorie-free desserts to promote good self-esteem for wealthy people. This self esteem will come through promoting a healthy lifestyle rather than a hot body, as evidenced by the brand name.

Housewives of Mesa sell a variety of things, from board games to scenty candles to cosmetics. I admire all the people I know who do this because I have not one grain of salesmanship in me.

Housewives of New York do yoga.

Housewives of Mesa might do yoga but most often are found walking one or more children around the block.

Housewives of New York drive Porchses. (actually I have no idea what kind of car this is)

Mesa-ites drive Windstars. (I happen to have a wine-colored one)

Here are the housewives. The name is misleading because not all are wives and they don't stay at home. Their marital statuses are as follows: single mom with half-boyfriends; the countess whose husband, the count, just left her according to the tabloids; married but has a gay guy she hangs out with who helps her with interior design; single and looking; married with one kid; and married with 2 boys.

Sometimes these housewives make gourmet, non-dairy, non-gluten, no-egg cupcakes.

Sometimes I make 3 cakes in one week that I eat the majority of because I'm nursing and need sustenance. Or maybe it's out of boredom. Or maybe I'm addicted to dessert.

Housewives of NYC go to 5 star restaurants for lunch.

Housewives of Mesa go to Filibertos, or "Fili's. We order 2 pound burritos. Our stomachs hurt later but it is SO worth it.

Happy Easter!

The not so happy bunny dons her first Easter outfit. The things we force our kids to do!

The binky saves the day!

We loved this dress and another one, finally chose this one, then I went back to get the other one 3 days later. I'm a sucker for baby dresses.

She gets that open -mouth thing from mom.

Sunday suprise!

Well, at almost six weeks old now, we decided it was time for Lacey to start attending church! So, dressed in our Sunday best, we went to all our meetings as a new little family for the first time. Lacey wasn't real interested in the speakers, so she took a nap. She just couldn't help how the organ lulled her to sleep.
On another note, Lacey has also begun to smile for social reasons. This is a good thing! Prior to this change, all other smiles were gas related.

I love you, Dairy

Thanks for all the advice, everybody. We ended up getting the gripe water from Walgreen's, although my friend Melanie tells me they have it way cheaper at Nature's Finest.

The doctor said Lacey doesn't have reflux because she doesn't have the symptoms at all before the late afternoons. She doesn't have colic every day which is a good thing. When she has it, she seems like she's in pain from all the gas. So it has been suggested to me that I need to give up dairy foods or eat way less of it. I know it's probably good advice, but I'm so dang selfish and since she doesn't seem to have it everyday and we don't know if it's caused by dairy, I'm having trouble abstaining.

Let's discuss my love affair with dariy foods:

1. Milk with my cereal is an obsession. I feel sad and lost when I think about eating something else. Oatmeal could work except that I love to drench it in milk.

2. CHEESE . Why do I love cheese so much? Almost anything can be made better wiith cheese. Ahhh, cheese crisps, grilled cheese sandwiches, pizza. Most people have hobbies. These are my hobbies. They have doctors for this, I know. Feel sad? Have a cheeze-it!

3. Ice cream! Oh man, what I wouldn't give for a Blizzard right now. I have been passionate about Dairy Queen since they started all their new commericals a couple of months ago.

4. Yogurt. I could eat this twice a day. Yo-plait is the best. Isn't Go-gurt a delightful invention? I've never bought it but I've had it many a time.

Ok, can't think of anymore. But you guys get the picture. I'm thinking I'll just experiement with eating less of it but no go off completely.

Do I need to give up chocolate??? What's your experience with dairy?

We all live in a yellow submarine.

Question for the day. Is a school bus yellow or orange?

Many people have recently been asking a little bit about me and what it is I do. So, in response, I thought I’d post it FYI. About three and a half years ago, I made the goal to start my own architectural and interior design business. This field of work is one of the great loves in my life. It is also a goal of mine to work for myself and be enabled to run my business out of our home. Well, after completing all the legal formation documents, obtaining licenses and establishing a website to showcase my services and portfolio, I opened my business LLC. It was a lot of work, but it has been a big check off on my list of goals.

The wheels on the bus go round and round!

Meanwhile, while I’ve been building the business, establishing a clientele and waiting out rough spots in the economy, I have also been employed at Mesa Public Schools. This too has been a wonderful job! Specifically, I transport Special Ed students to and from their important programs and their schools. I love it! Honestly, I sometimes smile when I think about how I get paid to do something I thoroughly enjoy. It is such a rewarding job as well. There are few places on earth where you can feel very close to heaven. One of these places is in a Special Ed bus full of perfect spirits trapped in imperfect bodies. And the service opportunities overflow continuously. Don’t get me wrong though, sometimes the bus atmosphere can also be a living you know where. But, for the most part, I love doing what I do. I also drive preschoolers and kindergartners during the lunch hour. Just yesterday, one of my five year old boys on my bus asked me “did your mom buy this for you?” He was referring to the bus. I chuckled about that the rest of the day. I had to explain that the school bought the bus so that he could have a way to go there. Another cute moment happened at Christmas time. I was attempting to correct some behavior problems, and so I expressed that they all needed to be good because Santa Clause was watching them. Just after saying this, a little girl spoke up and said, “And Heavenly Father.” I smiled about that for days! But, she’s right!

Some people's kids are really dog ugly! J/K

If you don’t mind, I’d like to add that bus drivers, among numerous other overlooked professions, are very hard working, patient and loving people. People often under estimate what it is they have to accomplish every day. Have you ever been in a car with a screaming kid, been late, and been stuck in traffic? If you have, I want you to multiply this by however many students are on board your bus. Sometimes 70! Now, your goal at this point would be to stay polite despite every reason to fly off the handle, drive safe despite all the hazards, and be on time despite everything that holds you up. On top of that, you would have to discipline, intervene, and be encouraging. You would also have to build a relationship of trust with your students and their parents and teachers. Having witnessed the kinds of bad drivers I see on the road every day, I want you to know that it is a miracle that students rarely get hurt or in an accident during their transport. Bus drivers are good drivers. This also has a lot to do with the fact that the buses are very safe and are inspected by the drivers themselves prior to each trip. And believe me, this inspection is required and is very thorough and extensive. One last thing, though some drivers look a little shaggy and shady, many drivers are very educated people who have retired from various professions. Don’t misjudge the job. I was surprised to learn that many drivers were once lawyers, police officers, doctors and school teachers. So, next time your child gets on or off a school bus, please take a moment to thank their bus driver. They likely love and care for your kids too!

Ups and Downs of Motherhood

Wow, it's been awhile since I've been on here. Cameron has done such a fabulous job of keeping it up for me. I'm so grateful to all you guys for commenting too. It's so sweet of you guys when I am such a blog-reading slacker and never make comments. I'm behind in blog reading but I will catch up!

Well, I could never think of what I was going to say on here. I like to find some sort of comedic material.

I finally got the inspiration to write when I was watching "Fools Rush In" a couple of mornings ago at about 3 am. That's the one with Matthew Perry and Selma Hayek. She was playing a mom giving birth on the side of the road on top of Hoover Dam. When she had the baby and they put the baby on her chest, all the memories came flooding back. I even cried. So here's to the ups and downs of new motherhood!

Ups:

-The pushing ends! That miserable feeling of losing all your strength completely every 3 minutes is over. (plus, my epidural had worn off somewhat and I could feel some of the pain and it wasn't pleasent. I know, you natural birth people are saying : You wimp!!)

-They put this purple, wet baby on your chest. The first thought was just relief that she was out. Huge relief! I felt bad that I wasn't bawling my eyes out with joy yet. Is that abnormal? But it's such a miracle and when I look at her now it blows my mind that she lived in my tummy.

-The gassy smile of a baby. Yes, it may have nothing to do with you. But you can pretend it does and it's awfully cute.

-When you're changing their diaper and you happen to catch that explosive poop coming out so it doesn't get all over you. That's victory, man.

-A cuddly head resting on your shoulder

-Watching your husband be so incredibly sweet with the baby, love her, and be the best daddy for her

-Mom's, sisters, grandmas, etc to help you hold her. and a Grandpa (my dad) who does research and calls us to help us figure out how to help her

-when you get four hours of sleep in a row!

Downs of motherhood:

-Colic!!!!!!!!!!!! Anybody experience this? What did you use? We got some drops from Walmart and we might go get some Gripe water but we're not sure where to go.

-Explosive poop that lands on you and soaks your pajamas and the baby's

-Back pain

-Soreness

Baby crying in the car and you can't reach her

-No sleep. And when Lacey won't sleep in her bed and I end up holding her for several hours in the middle of the night
****************
Anyway, but it's all worth it! I just have no idea how my mom did it eight times!

Lacey's model shoot

Not too long ago, my sister-in-law Robin came over and took pictures of Lacey as a special gift to us and the baby. Robin is a professional photographer who has her own business called Portraits by Robin Lee. She does weddings, receptions, babies etc. The pictures turned out so cute and we couldn't help but share some of them with everyone. Robins blog is listed on our blog with all of the other links.